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Dating tales: Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water…my dating pool got dangerous again!

This tale starts a long, long time ago back in my very early days of dating.  Most people say how special their first love was.  How POLICE Yobs 1  Northumbria Police new billboard postersmaybe no one else will ever quite compare?  Some even marry their first loves.  Mine (Steve) ended up being a psychopathic stalker who I had to phone the police and get a restraining order on.

Well for me it all started going wrong when I got engaged to Steve and we bought a house together.  We had been together since the age of 18 and met through my friend who dated his best friend.

Body builderWhen we moved in together his erratic behaviour began.  He became possessive and jealous as my career after university began to take off.  He had opted to get a job at the age of 16 straight from school and it had stalled somewhat so now he was jealous of me wishing I think that he’d gone to university.  I encouraged and helped him go to night school.

I got the job of my dreams despite him telling me not to get my hopes up and that he didn’t think I was clever enough to get it.  When friends and family wanted to celebrate my news I declined and actually tip toed around Steve for fear of upsetting him.  In stark contrast he got a small promotion at work and we all went out to celebrate.  It was all about him and his ego.

Two days into my new job his father had a heart attack and was rushed to hospital.  Even though I had only just started my job I dropped everything to join the rest of his family at the bedside.  Luckily he made a quick recovery.

The first huge project in my new job was a big product launch that was to take place over several days.  At the first night’s event I invited my friends and family to attend making them aware that the company directors from London would be there so it was a very big deal.  Steve turned up and got very drunk.  I nearly died of embarrassment and sent him home early in a taxi.

Once at home later he apologised for his behaviour and promised the following night when I had the second event he would turn up sober, behave and would drive me home at the end of the evening.  When I saw him later that night he was with friends and said he’d changed his mind deciding it was a crime to waste all the free drink at the bar so would get a taxi home.

He got very drunk again and at 9pm demanded I leave with him to go home despite me still working the event.  When I said no I was still working.  He asked what was more important him or my job.  He then delivered an ultimatum saying “you leave with me now to come home or you don’t come home at all and we’re through”.  I told him “go home and pack your bags then”.  He asked me to repeat myself so I did this time with an accompanying gesture!

That was when I developed a pair of balls and a back bone.  He was totally shocked expecting I think for me to quit my job and leave with him.  I got a taxi to my parents’ house and changed my life.

The short term result was Steve stalking me, threatening to beat up my bosses at work, trying to ram my parents front door down to get to me and he kidnapped the dog threatening to kill him by force feeding him vodka.  His parents clearly as nutty as he was joined in with the door ramming; his mum accused me of being the reason his dad had a weak heart (despite the heart issues beginning years earlier) and she screamed “b*tch” at me through the letterbox.

In the end I had to get police assistance to stop him from contacting me and then he had a nervous breakdown, lost his job and once again his parents blamed me for apparently ruining his life.Bride in palm of hand

Only six months later I heard through a friend he had got an entry level job and met a girl 8 years younger than him whose self esteem was at rock bottom after having a miscarriage and losing her fiancée.  Within another 6 months he’d married her and she’d quit her job to become a full time house wife (someone he could control and manipulate).  Whereas I felt so sorry for this girl I was also relieved that I had truly escaped at last…

Anyway that was until last week when I suddenly got a message from him out of the blue via an online dating site saying “Hey you fancy us both being on here at the same time after all this time.  Good luck.” Now to someone who didn’t know him you’d think that was a nice message but often he’d have messaged me like that pretending to be kind hoping for a response and then the stalking/odd/threatening behaviour would begin again.

Fat, big nose & lots chinsI’d not heard from or seen him for 10 years and Steve’s profile was hideous.  On his photo he looks to have aged about 25 years and now has three chins.  From body builder when I dated him to rolly poly.  I was shocked reading his profile at how appalling his spelling, grammar and language were and how little he had written.  It was like one of my worst ever ‘Oh dear dating profile’ posts.

Much more than that I actually felt violated that he’d looked at my photos and read my profile as I’d blocked him from accessing me on all social media sites.  I have asked the dating site to block him from contacting me and from being able to view my profile again.  I haven’t replied to his message either.

So just when I thought it was safe to be in the dating pool a dangerous predator lurks again knowing I am also single… Only this tale is not so much about Jaws than chins! 😉

Stay safe daters and remember to always put your safety and security first!

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